I’ve been a Bible-believing Christian for almost thirty years. For me, the Bible was not only a source of comfort and encouragement in an often crazy world, it was the inerrant Word of God, full of wisdom and guidance directly from God himself. It helped me make sense of the world. It gave me a foundation for faith and values as I pursued a relationship with God.
However, the prayer that I prayed most often was “Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24). In spite of a Damascus Road conversion experience (at least that’s how I saw it) and years of personal Bible study and prayer, I always had a nagging sense of, “What if this is all just a beautiful fiction, something we badly want to believe?” In the early days of my faith I practically memorized the book “Evidence that Demands a Verdict” by Josh McDowell, as I found that this helped to temporarily quell my doubts.
I have always had questions about Christianity (what honest Christian hasn’t?!) But I wanted so badly to believe this beautiful story of God’s love for a lost world, that I was able to set aside my questions most of the time. Except that over time, the questions and nagging doubts grew so loud in my head that they demanded resolution, or if not resolution, at least some attention. That was the day when I realized that my faith had become so diluted that there was nothing left at all. I realized that I was presenting myself to the world, and my family, and even myself, as a Christian woman when in truth, I no longer believed even the most basic tenets of Christianity with any confidence. I decided it was time to face my questions head on, to try and find answers – or at least, find out how other Christians answered these questions for themselves.
This blog is my attempt to document my journey, to help me process my thoughts and hear from other people about their own struggles with faith and doubt.
If you’re a fellow traveler on this journey – welcome!